you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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