well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
