i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
