I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
