Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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