Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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