This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
