I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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