i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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