I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
