so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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