well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
