I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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