we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
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Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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