he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
