He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
