dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
