i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This is the high leading the old right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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