We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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