I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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