So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Say something about gay babies.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
