I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
