your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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