what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
