I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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