Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.