I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.