Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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