i just had sex bonerless
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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