New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
