And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
