trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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