I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
