its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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