feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize