thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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