I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
