Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
