She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
