I wish I could teleport
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
