Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize