apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
