what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
