I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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