he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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