my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
