I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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