I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
