i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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