I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
