I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
