im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i dont even know how to be here
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How does one acquire holy water?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
