My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
