I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
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I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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