we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love having hate sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
