Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
