Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My penis needs a shock collar
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
