I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
